Category: Dating and Relationships
A recent study highlighted the fact that 1 in 10 adults have a sexually transmitted disease that they were not aware of. So, question is simple really, if you were going to sleep with someone, is it really something you would think about? After all, most sleep with someone who they trust and who they believe they know well, but given these statistics, would you ever think to ask a partner to be tested before you slept with them?
it is something I am always concious of, and unless I know my partner well and trust him we won't be sleeping together anyway. Made that mistake once before, and yes we used protection so it wasn't a problem, but even so. It is on the Things not to be repeated list. I don't see the problem with asking your partner to be tested, or, if you think that asking your partner is sounding like you miss trust them,or like you are accusing them of something. then offer to be tested yourself. even ifyou know for certain thast you are clean. How can they then say no to doing the same thing without looking bad, or like they potentially have something to hide. I don't see any problem with addressing issues such as these, because in my oppinion. people earn trust, because of their actions, the way they live their life, and conduct themselves. Trust isn't somethign thatyou just automatically have in each other. so beeing responsible and mature enough to talk about things such as STD's in a sensible manner is a good sign that you juts might be onto a good successfull relationship. it's all about open honest communication
after all.
I know both my sisters asked their current partners to be tested before they started "living with them" as Icelanders put it, rather politely but not very accurately, they had no problems with it. After all, if you want to be this intimid with a person you want to enjoy this 100% and so you need to feel that that you can trust that person and being with them sexually won't do you no harm. I've offered to be tested and wouldn't be the least bit offended if someone asked me. I've seen the same attitude amongst my friends who live here, well most of them anyways. And I believe std testing is a part of the annual check up most people, at least in the U.S. with health insurance go into, I try to do this as well, just because I think it's good to have it on paper that you are healthy as of month x. STDs are a real threat, they can destroy your reproductive system or possibly kill you and I don't see why you are not allowed to be openly worried about them when you feel like getting close enough to someone so that it becomes an issue, after all if it is about real dating (as opposed to just sexual things) you should be close enough so that you can talk about anything, including this.
cheers
-B
yes I totally agree, while I admit I haven't allways I now get regularly tested. I have a friend who in a nut shell met a guy they got married and then 6 months later he died of aids, he didn't tell her he had it and now she is infected. That should be plenty of reasons right there to get tested!
I often think about this, and would probably go and get tested before even being asked if it were easier to do here. I don't know, maybe it's easier than I think, and I just don't know how. It wasn't that easy some years ago when I and my x partner were to begin having sex. I was told I'd need to have good reason for them to test, that being a suspicion there maybe something wrong. Maybe it's got easier, I've just felt uneasy about asking because of the reaction I got.
I don't see why it should be looked upon as offensive, asking your partner if they'd mind being tested, at all. I heard on the news yesterday that over half a million people in the UK have Hep C, and don't have a clue about it. Who wants to take the chance when you think about it that way. Aside from anything else, wouldn't you want to know for your peace of mind as well as your partner's? As far as I know, it's not difficult to get tested over here by any means, although, they do sometimes ask why you suspect so and I think it sometimes goes down on your medical records. I know that a lot of health insurance places won't insure you if you've had STD tests in the past.
Hi I would want my partner to be tested if that were the case, but if it is going to cause them problem than I would tell them that I would even get tested.
Matthew
The idea of not being able to get private insurance because one has had std testing previously, seems incredibly ludicrous - absolutely asinine. Hopefully that is not truly the case. Trust should not even be a part of the topic in question. It's not about trust, it's about being responsible for one's health and well-being and that of the partner.
Yeah, a testing is never bad, if not safer.